CRASHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD APPROACHING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive flood of spam is about to explode down on your mail. We're talking atrocious amounts of scammy emails packed with vile porn. These bastards are trying to cheat you out of your hard-earned cash, so be super cautious. Don't click on any buttons in these emails, and flag them immediately. Be smart! Bewar